Category: Fleet

Our cold chain division is just Tuna Tom and one refrigerated truck, but they do good work. The reefer unit holds a steady 34 degrees, which Tom insists is the exact temperature of a perfect fish. He checks it every twenty minutes, mostly by crying a little when it is wrong.

The rules are simple. Never open the doors without asking. Never lick the walls. Never stand in the cold air at the back and pretend you work for the weather service. Tom has seen it all.

Cold shipments start at $28 per cubic foot, with a minimum of three crates. Tom will personally guard your order. He has a stool.

Gus spent $4,300 on our newest rig, and I want everyone to be gentle about it. It is a shoebox. A very large one, mounted on a golf cart chassis, painted orange. He calls it the Rumbler 9000. It does not rumble. It squeaks.

Capacity is 90 pounds, or one cat of the managerial class. Top speed is 11 miles an hour downhill with a tailwind. It is, however, extremely popular for local runs because nobody sees it coming. Nobody sees it at all. It is parked in plain sight and still goes unnoticed.

Book the Rumbler for short hauls under two miles. Bring a cushion.